Sunday, June 05, 2005

Frighteningly True 

I may have been away from Fresno for close to ten years now, but most of these still resonate with me....

You Know You're From Fresno When...

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal
a "Tri-tip" comes from.

You think salsa goes on everything

Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.

Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear
out before the end of April.

The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."

You think $400 a month rent is way too high.

You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.

People break out coats when the temperature drops below 70.

The pool can be warmer than you are.

You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.

You still don't know your way around downtown.

Anywhere "and 99" is too far away.

You think you're better than people from Clovis.

Someone mentions the Fair and your thoughts immediately turn to
Cinnamon Rolls.

You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in

You have to explain to someone about "G Street."

The whole town shuts down at 11:00.

You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of
people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.

You hadn't been to Manchester Center in 10 years until the movie
theater opened.

You never knew how you managed before River Park.

Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell
them, "Just wait."

You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.

You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Fresno.

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Thanks to all you non-Fresno types for letting me indulge in some local humor. The other local lists are pretty good too, so I'm sure there is something there for everybody.

Mmmmm, cinnamon rolls. How much longer until the Fair?

This was funny. I particularly liked Florida (since that is where I'm living)...

You shrug off hurricane warnings

You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos

There are only two seasons - hot and hotter
Dude, I can't wait either...It has been at least 10 years since I have even gone to the Fresno Fair. I need Cinnamon Rolls too, dammit. We should both make a road trip this fall to goto the fair. What do you say???
Mmmm, tri-tip. Have I mentioned how much I miss tri-tip?
The besttri-tri on earth is the tri-tip served at elementary school fundraising dinners.

So yummy that it made the boredom there worth it.
Ewww. Fat men in Speedos. I guess it's the price one must pay to live in the Sunshine State.
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